Level 1: The Basics
The process of becoming an adult is the process of taking on responsibility for meeting your own needs. If you feel that your needs are not being met in your relationship, it’s up to YOU, not your partner, to find a way to meet that need.
High quality partners will want to support each other in meeting their needs, so there is mutual collaboration. In order for that collaboration to work, each partner must bring:
RESPECT for the other partner – i.e., uncondtionally accept the other person for who they are, 100%. (Note: Respect should be unconditional, because it’s about who the other person is; TRUST, on the other hand, can be earned or lost through choices and behavior.) If you don’t respect the other person, or they don’t respect you, the relationship is not functional or healthy.
GRATITUDE. Appreciation and feeling cherished or validated, celebrated, and admired is the foundation of intimacy. The fastest way to improve your relationship is to increase the level of gratittude you express together.
AUTONOMY. The paradox of human relationships is that we need to be with other people, but we also need those other people to grant us permission to be free from those relationships. In healthy relationships, partners grant each other the freedom to make decisions separately and develop self-efficacy.
Level 2: The Prezi
If you don’t know already, a Prezi is essentially a fancier version of powerpoint. Each of our slideshows are meant to take around twenty minutes to half an hour.
Relationships and the Smithie on Prezi
Level 3: The Sources and Resources
Haven’t had enough? Here are some of the sources we used in our research, as well as some resources online or on campus that we thought might be helpful.
The Gottman Institute
How to Be an Adult by David Richo
Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch